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Phys(ics)Geek
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"If you wrap yourself in daffodils, I'll wrap myself in pain..."
I'm sad today... Too much time writing code that does something but that which it does I probably could even explain let alone in such a coherent manner that anyone could understand the phrases which spew from my rather large mouth. I'm tired. I like my life, really I do. Nothing makes me happier than getting into the lab in the morning, and turning all the gizmos on for the day, firing up PuTTY and SSH'ing into the cluster... there's nothing like seeing the QOD at first login... I just wish that I could get the same intellectual stimulation that I get by working in a lab for hours by merely having a conversation with someone. Sadly, that's not the case with my life, nor has it ever been, and possible nor will it ever be. That last thought is rather frightening... Maybe that's for the best... perhaps this staying away from people actually will prevent future heartache... and considering the fact that I can not name a single living person in my life that I consider a friend which has yet to let me down, or cause me some form of anguish. Friends, perhaps they're over-rated... I don't necessarily think that I approach friendships with a sort of stigma, not yet at least... it seems to be that I'm headed for that. I'm tired... and I have a headache. This is not abnormal. I think I'm just sad today because it happened to dawn on me that, since high school, the number of friends I have has significantly dropped... and since I quit Staples it's dropped even more... Will it drop to zero? Maybe? I really think it has to be me... just as there is some commutative field emanating from me that prevents those of the opposite sex from having feelings that are more than of a brotherly nature... there too exists a similar repulsive field which prevents me from having good friends, confidants, and the like... I think I'm rambling now... so I'll go back and crawl under my rock and code... G'night. Feeling:
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