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Phys(ics)Geek
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"Reassuring myself..."
A long week done. I'm as exhausted now as I've ever been in my life... and yes... for a brief time after high school I worked forty hours a week in August in a kitchen with no AC washing dishes at an industrial complex cafeteria... ::shudders:: But it's all good because I've got all weekend to get work for next week out of the way and since I've got a little money in my bank account (for the first time in a long time) I'm able to relax and focus on just school. I don't want to have another hectic week next week. Last week made me think thoughts that I don't like to think... Several times I thought about changing my plans for the future... With a few grand in seed money and no classes to worry about, I'm pretty sure I could have a sucessful web-design firm up and running in six to eight months... But I don't want that. I know I don't want that. I want to get my ass into grad school... work my ass off, and get a Ph.D. My E&M prof was like "In every graduating class there's one stand out student... there's one guy that is always sticking around and always working on something... one guy that no matter how ominous the problem looks, he never backs down... one guy that you know is just going to be something..." And he kept on going with his little tale of graduate school but I looked around and saw like everybody looking at me... Weird huh? I'm that guy. That's gotta mean something. I waste my Saturdays tinkering in the lab... I'm the guy that teaches everybody else how to do the problems on the problem sets... I'm the guy that is working on problems in his lab until eight or nine every night... I mean this shit has become my life... It's impossible now for me to give that up... I don't WANT to give that up... Everybody has a destiny... and I've found mine... And despite all of these killer problem sets and busting my ass to the point that I come home and zonk out at my desk... I'm enjoying every minute of it... It's worth it. In either 2008, 2009, or 2010 I'm going to finish a kickass thesis and get a Ph.D. in theoretical physics... It's hard... yes... but it's not work. Not to me at least. Feeling:
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