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Phys(ics)Geek
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"Maybe I should just leave it be, leave it up to destiny..."
I had a bad day. Do I really need to say anything other than that? No. I don't know a thing. Listen not to what I say because it's just me trying to be smart, which I'm not. I can do math. I don't know a damn thing besides the rules that I've been taught and those rules are my religion. I don't forget the constant when I do an indefinite integral and I don't go above the speed limit. Why? Because somewhere I picked up the idea that if you follow all the rules and lead a "good life" then things will be good for you and you'll be happy. You know what, for over 20 years now I've done the right thing and what do I have to show for it? Nothing. Sure, I'm getting two degrees in the next two years, and I'll have a Ph.D. and (hopefully) a little respect in five, but right now I'm an emotional wreck, I hate the way I feel when I wake up in the morning, I know that tomorrow is most likely just going to be worse than today, I'm lonely all the time, I don't like talking to people, I'm more comfortable sitting at my computer in the dark late at night than anywhere, I'm respected by few, loved by no one, and I truly do think that I'm going to lose it someday soon. Did I mention that if I don't take a little blue pill in the evening I can't sleep at night, and I get migraine headaches that last weeks and I'm pretty sure would kill just about anybody but me. Yeah... Maybe I'm just really fucking tired. Or maybe I have problems. Fuck, who gives a damn. Not you. I'm tired. Leave me be. (Nobody comment on this.) Feeling:
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