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Phys(ics)Geek
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"Is anything different these days?"
I've probably written about this before but I don't care, this thing is mine and if you don't like it just close the window. I'm lonely. Not lonely as in I never go out, because really, I'm not that much of a loner. Well, okay, I'm a little bit of a loner, but I do have friends and I do go out on occaision and indeed, I've been known to work the mojo on occaision as well. What I'm lonely for is not merely "friendship" and not merely "romance". I envision in my mind a perfect relationship and above all else it's based on interdependence. Just like any economist will tell you that the key to a good world economy is global interdependence and free trade (I'm turning into a liberal, can you tell?), a good relationship is based on emotional interdependence and willingness for sacrifice. I want that. I have never just been able to be with a girl and say "This is how I feel." Instead, it's always my mind telling me "Hey, better not say that until you test the waters first." There's always something hindering me but mainly I think it's my wanting too much. As a kid I was always called "the only 10 year old thirty year old" and to this day I'm the most mature person in my family, and maybe that's the root of the desire in my mind of a stable relationship that I just don't need to worry about in and out and over and over and over and over again all day and all night. The problem is this, I'm out there looking for something completely different than anyone else in my age-demographic, or at least I've yet to find someone like me but without a wang. My goal is a life where when I sit here and feel sad at night, I can call someone up and tell them what's wrong and they can make me feel better, and when they aren't happy I can drop everything and do the same for them. I want to have a relationship where I can be close to someone and not worry about lies and secrets. I want someone I can say "I love you" to and mean it. I want someone I can spend 12 hours with and it will only seem as if it's been a minute. For once in my life, I just want something REAL... . . . Hmm... I think it's pretty clear that I'm off my rocker but whatever... this is me. G'day. Feeling:
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